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Archive for February, 2006



Sunday, February 12th, 2006
The ‘Perfect Password’

The ‘Perfect Password’

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out loud as he typed ….

P… E… N… I… S.

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
*** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

Sunday, February 12th, 2006
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3′ in housewares….. and see what happens.

5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

6 Move a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

12 In the auto department, practice your “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”

14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”

( And; last, but not least!)

15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

Now send this to people that you know who you know could use a laugh!

Sunday, February 12th, 2006
Can you read this?

Olny srmat poelpe can.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

Sunday, February 12th, 2006
New contest

Last months contest winner!
aktgreenwolf
Email me your address at lisarenjones@aol.com!

And new contest!

Celebrating my Upcoming Ellora’s Cave Release
Join my newsletter to enter a drawing for the following:
Members auto entered! Those who are not members ..
Send a blank email to:
lisareneejones-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Victoria’s Secret PINK®
PINK-to-go Wristlet
Beauty is all in the wrist.
Includes:
• 1.7 oz. Roll-on Eau de Parfum
• Shining Kisses Lip Gloss in Eva
• Mirror
Coming Soon
By Lisa Renee Jones
WHO’s ON TOP

Book Two of the Office Games series

Sex, lies, and love…Catherine Maxwell aka “Cat” believes in the sex and lies, but life has taught her to leave love out of the equation. She keeps her life simple, avoiding the corporate world of her father and brothers. As for her men, she prefers them short-lived and red hot. So when she meets attorney Reese Walker she wants nothing more than her proverbial “hot spot” stoked. Only Reese isn’t willing to stop at one night and he makes it known. Soon Reese and Cat are in a whirlwind affair where the battle for control, both in and out of the bedroom, becomes an erotic adventure. And just when Cat begins to trust Reese, to think she might let him beyond her barriers, she discovers he has a business connection to her father. Now, Cat must decide Reese’s real motives, and she’ll do whatever is necessary to get to the truth. If Reese wants to end up on top, he’s going to have to prove he belongs there.

Sunday, February 12th, 2006
Sex as a birthday present…what more could a girl ask for?

Just turned this in today…..my character hides behind sex because she if afraid of being hurt….BUT one alpha hot male is about to show her SEX is just that..but making love is all about MAKING LOOOOOOVE lol

This scene is before ALPHA gets his hands on her. When she is still taking charge of the men in her life…

Sex as a birthday present…what more could a girl ask for?

Even better, having it with a sexy guy who wanted no commitment. Just one night of hot, sweaty - make-you-want-to-scream-his-name - kind of pleasure. Now, that, was a perfect way to turnthirty. Only, she thought she’d prefer to make him scream her name a few times before they reversed roles. Yes. That sounded quite excellent. She might even make him beg.

For what? To be determined. For how long? Long. And hard. She liked hard.
Meagan Tippan stared at the sexy musician named, Marcus, with chin-length black hair she new to be velvety soft to the touch and smelled masculine with a hint of spice.

He was naked by her demand, all sprawled out in luxurious male perfection on the hotel bed. So far, he’d proven to take orders quite well. She was pleased.
Tonight was a good night.

Standing at the end of the mattress, dressed only in a barely there black satin bra and panty set, lace-top thigh highs, and three-inch heels, she saw lust in his warm chocolate eyes of his. Inhaling, she slowly reveled in the power of his arousal. Of the control he gave her.

How could anyone want a birthday filled with a chocolate covered cake and a room of people wishing them well when they could have chocolate covered man instead?
Not her. Not ever.

Marcus reached over to the bedside radio and flipped it on, a soft sensual tune filling the air. She let it fill her, too. Let her lashes flutter, as her hips began to sway to the rhythm. Dancing for him. Dancing for herself. For several minutes she let herself get lost, exploring her body with her hands, enjoying the high of knowing he watched. Imagining how he saw her as observed.

A lifelong dancer, she had a long, lean body. Not curvy and full, but rather, sleek and sexy. A body she’d come to be proud of. A body she’d learned could deliver the world to her on her terms. The one where sex offered escape, and if done right, came without the confines of relationships. She wasn’t a slut, but she damn sure didn’t deny herself either.

Like her mother, she wore her light brown hair straight and to her shoulders, highlighted with subtle blonde. Sweeping it over her shoulders, she turned, giving Marcus her back. Bending over to tease him and then slowly bending and spreading her legs before pumping at her knees. She felt hot now. Beyond hot. Burning up with desire. Dripping wet and ready for more.

Straightening, she unhooked the clasp on her back, shrugging away the silk and letting the cool air conditioner harden her nipples. Feeling his eyes devour her like a warm blanket caressing her chilled skin. Her lashed fluttered as she pinched her nipples, watching Marcus pump his cock as he devoured her with his hot stare. “The panties,” he ordered. “Take them off.”

She’d do as he wanted but only because she was ready. The slip of a material between her thighs was wet and she wanted it gone. She slid her fingers beneath the tiny silk covered elastic at her waist and did a little wiggle as she eased them down her skin, her breast jiggling with the action. She kicked them aside once they were at her feet and then pressed her knees on the end of the mattress.

Ready to fill the emptiness inside with this man. To fuck him liked he’d never been fucked. Teasing and pleasing was the name of the game. And she never played a game she couldn’t win.