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Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
A laugh! Or two or three!

Here are 6 reasons why you should think before
you speak - the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you
could immediately take the words back…or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did….

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn’t say a word…he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s
balls.”

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now” she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!” The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and was on him constantly.. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said “No”. I kept thinking “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with
me.” Then I said, “Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?” “No,” he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, “Danny, did you have an accident?” This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled “SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!” While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: “So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?”
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn’t that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh.

Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
The truth about Santa’s reindeer

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Monday, November 14th, 2005
We are live!! Come PLAY!

www.allureauthors.com!

Allure Authors

Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
Today’s hot ALLURE AUTHORS excerpt and more!

Hi all!

Well, no news for me yet. No bad news either so I am clinging to that! I got to talk to Sasha White (www.sashawhite.net) on the phone the other day and she has this amazing sexy french canadian accent! Just like my best friend. I am jeolous! I want to sound all sexy. Instead, I sound sweet. Even Sasha said so! In high school, my best friend was blond and gorgeous and everyone called me the ‘cut’ one. Still do at 38. I am one of those people that gets called HUN…But then, when I was corporate woman, my employees didn’t think I was so cute and sweet. Fair. Honest. Tough. Workaholic. But not sweet. However, the entire cute and sweet thing worked for me with clients..lol. They all became parent like and protective! But anyway, I never get to be the sexy one…the beautiful one…But as an adult I know cute is better than some other things so I am accepting. Age does that to us lol!

Anyway enjoy a hot excerpt from a wonderful author and great friend!

Hungry Like The WolfHUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF - now available at Loose Id!
From Vivi Anna!
www.vivianna.net

Her room was cramped and musty. Just enough room for a single bed and a small chest of drawers. She didn’t use the chest. She had everything she owned and needed tucked safely away in her leather bag stored under the bed’s wooden frame.

Jack glanced around the dark and dismal room. He sat timidly on the edge of the bed. The mattress sagged with age and use.

Red uncorked the vodka. She took a swig from the bottle, then handed it to Jack. He took it gingerly, putting it to his mouth and took a small sip. He handed it back to her. She took another big pull on it before setting it on top of the dresser drawers.

“Take off your clothes.”

Jack flinched. “What?”

“You heard me. I don’t like to repeat myself.” Red stepped in front of him. She pulled her shirt up over her head, and tossed it to the floor. Her small, firm breasts were free. She wore no undergarments. Her peaked nipples were flushed bright red.

Jack watched her in fascination. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her pert bosom. He ached to touch it.

Red reached down and tore at his flimsy linen shirt. She ripped it open. She couldn’t feel his warm flesh fast enough. There was nothing more life-affirming than sex. She wanted it, needed it. She needed it to make her feel something, anything. She had gone too many days feeling empty and soulless.

Jack gasped at her aggression. Moaned as she touched his skin. Her hands were everywhere. They raced down to his breeches, and popped open the buttons. She reached in and gripped his already throbbing cock.

Jack popped the buttons on her dungarees and they dropped down her legs. She was soon completely naked. He drank in the scent of her, devoured her lean, muscular frame with his eyes. He pressed his mouth to her breasts, sucking a nipple into his mouth, hands stroking her firm buttocks.

Red could not wait. She didn’t want gentle. She didn’t want soft. She wanted fierce and frantic, like her inner soul. She straddled Jack. She held his cock while she impaled herself on him.

Jack cried out as she enveloped him. She was so hot and wet, he nearly came in one stroke. He gripped her ass cheeks tightly as she rode him hard. He pressed his mouth against her breasts, barely able to do anything else.

Red wrapped her hands in his hair, ground herself hard against him. She needed to be filled up; she felt so empty inside. She stroked up and down quickly, searching for her release. She could hear Jack’s labored breath and low groans. She knew he was close. She didn’t care. He was just a tool to her, a tool to satisfy her own pleasure.

She reached between them and found her clit. It ached painfully. She rubbed her fingers over it firmly, back and forth. She quickly pushed herself over the edge. Her climax ripped through her violently. She cried out as she grabbed Jack’s head and crushed him to her. She felt him come soon after.

Hours passed. They had sex twice more before Jack fell asleep, spent and satisfied. Red sat up on the bed and listened to the storm, not in the least bit content. The storm thundered. Lightning ripped through the sky as rain pelted the windowpanes. Jack was sleeping soundly. Red looked down at him. He slept like a child, full of innocence and purity. She wondered how long it would take for that to be torn from him. She had been only twelve when she lost hers.

Red hunkered down into the bedding, tucking a pillow behind her head. She needed to get some sleep. If the Pig brothers could be believed, she would need all her strength and wits to outmaneuver The Wolf. Then she could finally exact her revenge on him. She closed her eyes and slept.

Running through the woods. So quiet. Even the birds don’t chirp. There’s a small cottage up ahead. The lights are on. Smoke billows from the chimney. So welcoming. The door opens.

“Granny? It’s me. I brought you some muffins.”

No answer. Something’s wrong. The bedroom door is ajar. Muffled sounds come from within. Pushing the door open…

A man looms over Granny’s bed. A large man with long, black hair. Granny’s eyes are wide. Blood blossoms across her chest.

Screaming. The man turns. His eyes are so blue they’re translucent. They seem to glow in the dimly-lit room like an animal. He pulls the knife from Granny’s chest and marches toward the cowering child. He stops inches away and looks down at her.

She jumps up and attacks him. Screaming. Screaming. He’s caught by surprise. He flinches. His arm jerks out. The knife catches her in the face. It cuts her, deep. She screams, hands covering her face. She falls to the floor.

He runs out of the house. The girl lies on the floor, sobbing.

Red bolted up from the bed. Sweat poured off her face and soaked the sheets beneath her. She rubbed her hands over her face as she swung her legs over the bed and stood. She went to the dresser and picked up the bottle and took a long pull. She got dressed, strapped on a wrist sheath and tucked her small dagger into it. Wrapping up in her hooded black cloak, she left the room.

Jack opened his eyes and watched the door close.

Red stood behind the boarding house in the rain. There were just open fields, then tall trees behind the house. That was one of the reasons she picked the place. A cheap place to rent and a place for a quick escape.

She raised her head to the cool rain. She opened her mouth and let the chilled liquid pour in. She swallowed it down and opened for more, thirsting for the pure water. She drank it in greedily, hoping to be cleansed, but knowing that no amount of water could wash away her sins. She had been too long alone, with only black-hearted vengeance and cold steel for companions.

Red cocked her head to the side. Did she hear something? The rain fell hard on the tin roof of the house. It was difficult to hear anything over the roar. She slowly turned to her right. She stared hard into the shadows, narrowing her eyes. She saw a flash of something. Glowing eyes, like an animal.

Red ran. She turned to the open field and sprinted. If she could make it to the trees, she would lose him. She’d had many years of training in the forest. As she ran, she felt for the weapon at her wrist. It was there, secured tightly to her arm. She never went anywhere without at least one weapon.

She glanced back over her shoulder as she made it to the trees. She saw no movement behind her. The Wolf was quick, she knew, so he may have entered the woods further down. She’d have to be sharp. Use all her years of training to survive. This was the one night she had planned for, lived for, and she was not going to fail.

She moved into the foliage, hunkering down onto one knee and putting her hood up to cover her bright hair. She scanned the surrounding trees, letting her eyes adjust to the extreme dark. There was no moonlight to guide her way, and she saw no immediate movement. Looking down at the forest floor, she searched for another weapon. One was never enough.

Lightning lit the sky, and she was able to spy a small broken branch. It was jagged at one edge. It would be perfect for close encounters. She picked it up and held it firmly. If she could get close enough to him, she could stab the wood into the soft part just under his chin on the side of his neck. He would bleed to death. A branch snapped. Red stayed still and surveyed the woods. Could be just an animal, searching for food. Another branch snapped. This time it was closer. Red held her breath and narrowed her eyes. She could see a shape moving toward her.

Red looked down and picked up a small stone. If she could get a good aim, she could hit him in the head to stun him, affording her time to come up on him. If she missed, then he would know her location. Either way was a risk. She stood up and pulled her arm back.

“Red? It’s Jack.” His voice was soft and low.

Red hesitated. She lowered her arm. “What are you doing?”

“I followed you outside. I saw you run into the trees. I was worried. Are you all right?”

Red sighed and moved closer to him. He was endangering her. Surely, The Wolf knew her location. Or had she imagined him? Maybe she had only been running from Jack.

“You’re an idiot. I could have killed you.”

He laughed, low. “Not without your knives.”

Red paused. Her heart began to race. Her adrenaline pumping through her body. “What?”

“You’re unarmed, aren’t you?”

“Jack?” She saw the movement too late. “Watch out!”

Before the words were out of her mouth, The Wolf was on Jack. He came up from behind. He grabbed his chin, lifting his head and sliced the knife across his throat in one swift stroke.


IGNITING PASSION ONE PAGE AT A TIME
http://www.vivianna.net
NIGHT OF THE JAGUAR - coming 03/06 to Kensington Aphrodisia

And here is a laugh! Love this one! Thanks to Rachel Carrington for sending them to me…Visit her at www.Racheldawn.com

Coffee Fun

Coffee Fun

Saturday, October 29th, 2005
All kinds of stuff today

Recommended ReadWoohooo Recommended Read at Fallen Angels! Thanks to my wonderful Reviewer and Fallen Angels!

Lisa Renee Jones’ Red Hot Secrets is exactly that – red hot! Ms. Jones has created two very complex and likeable characters that will touch your heart. While Matt and Lauren have a very intense physical relationship, the deep emotional bond both are reluctant to acknowledge balances it. I enjoyed how each had to face personal demons to have the relationship each desperately wanted. Lauren’s fears about her job and economic status are very understandable has she struggles to have the job and life she wants. This book should not be missed.
Reviewed by: Tewanda

Thank you Tewanda and Fallen Angels!

Hidden InstinctsHidden Instincts is available now in Trade!! Now I have to say I read this book recently and wanted to cry. It is NOT my current writing style at all! Still, readers have respnded well. I think the past is often harder for a writer than the readers lol..The cover is gorgeous in person. Glossy and just sharp. I was sooo impressed!! You can get it at Barnes and Noble and Borders. I THINK it will be in bookstores. I am not sure how this is working on the trades. I’ll let you know when I know!

Sunday night VAMPIRE BATS..I watched the trailor and Lucy Lawless seems awesome in it…

Lucy

Next, I have an author friend with an awesome story for Halloween. I just got to read the beginning of book two and its wonderful!

Ghost Touch

Finally, what is a saturday without a HOT GUY lol!

Biker